November 23rd, 2009 . 5:15 pm . By: DJ Walker

Strike One: Artificial Turf
Strike Two: I hate both these teams (soccer hate – not real life, evil, wish-you-would-die hate.)
Strike Three: Dema Kovalenko.

There is so much to hate about this game, yet, I have to watch it. It’s the championship game of my Country’s Top Division. What else can I do?

It could be worse. It could be artificial turf with football lines. It could be Chicago and Colorado. And, well, no it couldn’t get worse than Dema Kovalenko.

There are some pretty compelling stories in this game, too

Bruce Arena continues to excel, no matter where he goes (well, almost everywhere, he did spend some time in New York, right?). His pick-up of Donovan Ricketts was pure genius. The way he’s gotten a team that was on the verge of civil war to unite and make a run to a championship game is pretty brilliant as well.

I wouldn’t mind seeing Kyle Beckerman win a championship. He’s one of those players I love to hate. As long as he’s playing against my team, I can’t abide him. But in the abstract, I realize he’s tough, talented, and totally committed to winning. I wish he played for FC Dallas, to be honest.

Andy Williams playing some of his best ball while having to deal with his wife’s life-threatening illness. That guy’s got guts for days.

The continuing redemption of Edson Buddle. Great story there.

It could be Donovan’s last game in MLS, as it looks like Europe is going to come calling again.

Am I missing anything?

Oh yeah -  the English guy. Whatever.

Speaking of the English guy, he bangs knees with Javier Morales on a 50-50 ball, and Morales ends up having to leave the game. It wasn’t a dirty play by Beckham, just one of those things. Poor Morales, though, was heartbroken. He actually had tears in his eyes. Reminded me of Paul Gascoigne in the 1990 World Cup.

Clint Mathis comes on in his place, which, ironically, may be the bet thing that could happen to RSL. Mathis can turn a game around, and he has a flair for the dramatic.

Jovan Kirovski gets the first shot-on-goal for Los Angeles. If we had British-style betting in this country, somebody would have made some money on that proposition.

A little later, Mike Magee gets the first goal for LA. Again, a longshot, but kind of nice. Magee is the epitome of a journeyman, in the highest sense of the word. Dependable, hardworking, and a team player. The kind of player every championship team has to have. Good for Mike.

The buildup to that goal was beautiful too. Beckham to Donovan to Magee. I believe this is what the pundits refer to as “attractive attacking soccer”. And how.

Donovan Ricketts, Robbie Findlay, and Omar Gonzales all converge on a loose ball, which almost sends Ricketts out of the game. It was his own guy, Gonzales, oddly enough, who nearly took him out. As Gonzales slid in to the play, his foot whacked Ricketts right on the hand; he was down for about five minutes before deciding to play on.

This led to a somewhat inchoate discussion between The Lovely Cid and myself about why a guy would keep playing when he was hurt. Her point being that he was risking his health and not helping the team by playing at less the 100%. My point (that I kept to myself, thus the inchoate nature of the thing) was simply “He’s a man and the hand is still attached – he’s playing”.

I guess it’s one of those Venus/Mars things.

Going back to the Morales injury, that’s why the guy was so upset. He knew he couldn’t go on, even though every fiber of his being wanted to stay on the field. And even if he could have stayed on, he knew he’d be hurting the team in doing so. The pyschic pain was worse than the physical pain. And don’t kid yourself, the physical pain was considerable.

Ricketts, on the other hand, believed he could continue at full strength, even though it was going to hurt like hell. Both those guys did the manly thing, and they both deserve full marks.

Robbie Findlay equalizes in the 64^th minute after a scramble in the goalmouth. I hate to say it, but it looked like Donovan Ricketts didn’t recover from his initial dive because he had to push himself up with the injured right hand. That slowed him down just enough so he couldn’t make it up to stop Findlay’s shot. Maybe the Lovely Cid had a point.

One thing the Galaxy don’t want to see tonight is a PK shootout. Did you see Nick Rimando against Chicago in the Semifinals? Three saves, are you kidding me? Rimando looked like Daniel-san catching a  fly with chopsticks. Thrice. It was uncanny.

This game has a good “first viewer retention” vibe. If a non-soccer fan just happens to tune in to a particular game for his first soccer experience, you want it to be a game that would make them want to watch more soccer. I think this game is of that variety. There are some games that actually compel you  to pray to God that no first-timers are watching (you can leave your favorite example in the comments).

The example that comes to mind for me is every single game FC Dallas ever played at Southlake.

But I digress.

Chris Klein comes in for LA. I wonder if this is Chris Klein’s last game. He’s been around forever, and if LA wins, this might be his swan song. I don’t have any inside information here, mind you. Just wondering.

Extra time is looming. A goal now, with two minutes and injury time left, would be the stuff of legends.

Fabian Espindola is running rampant for RSL on the right side since he’s come in. He’s a candidate for hero-hood, from what I’ve seen in the last few minutes.

Wow – seven minutes of extra time. That’s gotta be a record.

So it’s overtime. Should be good.

Nerdy kids everywhere had to be encouraged by the shot of David Beckham taking a hit off his inhaler in the interval between full time and overtime. Now if he’d just wear glasses out there, self esteem amongst kids of the sort that I was (I know, it’s hard believe), would soar to an all time high.

Beckham is also limping pretty badly after the end of the first overtime. Say what you want about the guy, (and put myself in the “grudging admirer” category) but you have to admit he’s a gamer, and I don’t think he’ll come out unless the ankle actually disintegrates into a pile of dust.

No one likes penalty kicks to decide a game, of course, but apart from just playing until someone wins (which is what I would decree, immediately upon my ascension to the office of king-of-the-world), what else are you going to do? I suppose you could get your two best players to face off in a game of keepy-uppy to determine the winner, but it lacks a certain dignity. Maybe rock-paper-scissors between the Captains, but, to make it more soccer-like, they’d play it with their feet. That would have comic value, if nothing else.

Really though, the common sense plan is to just keep playing until someone wins. Give each team three more subs. Play two fifteen minute periods, and if there’s still no winner, two more fifteen minute periods, but with a Golden Goal. If it goes beyond that, two more golden goal periods, but allow free substitution for the duration.

But if the leagues aren’t going to go for that, and probably they won’t, because the TV Overlords won’t like it, then penalties are the only way to go.

Besides, penalty shootouts do, let’s face it, have their own unique drama. There’s nothing better than seeing a goalkeeper come up big with a save. And, for you fans of schadenfreude, there’s nothing better than seeing some guy from the other team sky his shot into the cheap seats. Penalty shootouts are tense and, I have to admit, pretty entertaining, even if they are a terrible way to decide a winner.

Annnnnd, it’s penalties.

I have to give the edge to RSL here, given Rimando’s reputation and Josh Saunders’s youth. But really, who can tell with these things?

Beckham takes the first one, even though he looks to be in quite a bit of pain. He nails it, no surprise there. This is the guy who scored a free kick from 30 yards out, against Poland, with hardly any time left, to put England in the World Cup.

Mathis: money in the bank. 1-1

Berhalter: the shortest run-up I’ve ever seen. Rimando guesses correctly but Berhalter nailed it perfectly. 2-1.

Findlay: Hits it perfect upper left and corner. High and unstoppable. 2-2.

Kirovski: Hit it poorly and Rimando guessed correctly. Again. Still 2-2.

Beckerman. Good kick, but Saunders comes up huge. I would have put money on Beckerman making that one. STILL 2-2.

Donovan: WOW! He skied it a dozen rows up! Unbelievable. UNBELIEVABLE!. That was Roberto Baggio-esque. Still 2-2.

Grabavoy: The hero last week in the shootout against Fire. He’s money. 3-2.

Magee: it’s all on MM. Has to make it, and does. Roofs it. 3-3.

Williams. Pressure? His wife has leukemia – THAT’S pressure – this is just soccer. He misses though, and it’s still 3-3. Saunders is a Monster.

Klein: You know he’s going to make it. He’s a vet. 4-3.

Wingert: Places it low and right to fool Saunders. 4-4.

Buddle: Looks nervous. Hits it right to Rimando for the save. 4-4.

Russell: Can win it with a goal. And he does.

Wow. RSL wins the MLS Cup. I’ll take “Things I thought I’d never type” for $1000, Alex.

Good for Jason Kreis, though. He was class as a player in Dallas, and he’s class as a coach. He must be the youngest coach in league history to win the cup, right?

Rimando gets the MVP. Good choice.

Good game. Good game. Oh, and Dema didn’t even play. So there’s that.

See you next season, folks.

Categories: Stream of Consciousness.

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